Butler Talks

Home » 2017

Yearly Archives: 2017

Stronger Together Into 2018

I am so very proud of the courageous women in my Women Business Owner Mastermind Group! We had a fantastic year together filled with challenges, setbacks, triumphs and successes.  We are each other’s board of directors, each other’s fiercest advocates and no-holding-back sounding boards. My business would not be as successful and well run if it wasn’t for my fellow women business owners, who have held me accountable, challenged me, supported me and provided tissues, kind words and subsequent kicks in the rear to get me back into the business arena after disappointments. I am so grateful for each of these awesome women:

Carolyn Bagdoyan – Heart Tree Yoga
Vivien Balcker – Ameriprise Financial Advisor
Martha Brettschneider – Damselwings LLC
Lisa Loggins – LeadWell Coaching Strategies
Melissa Maillett – Maillett Photography
Joann Meginley – Grassroots Fitness
Tamera Siminow – Lifeworks Consulting
Agnes Wasawski – Weichert Realtor
Emily Yahn – Tangible Designs

You rock!

For all you business owners, corporate leaders and rising change makers trying to do it completely on your own: Don’t! Find a great support group, a mentor or a coach, and feel the lift, energy, fun, and stretch that comes from shared wisdom and experience!


And for those of you, who are not ready yet to step into the spotlight of accountability and no-BS feedback, you can prepare yourself for a great start into 2018 by doing one of our group’s kick-start exercises on your own: Goal Map for Kick-Starting Awesomeness.

Are you or someone you know interested in learning more about how to set up or join a mastermind group to accelerate your professional and personal growth? All it takes is a phone call, email, Skype, letter, or visit to my office – I will be happy to talk with you and explore options with you.

Wishing all of you a game-changing 2018 with Health, Joy, and Success – whatever that may look like for YOU!

With Gratitude for my life and the people in it!


First-time in a Foreign Country – From the U.S. to Taiwan and Back with Grace and Gratefulness

When you have a positive impact on a client and open new doors … best feeling!

US TaiwanIn late August, I coached a young professional in preparation for her first ever international trip – a 10-week work assignment in Taiwan. Introverted, cautious, self-declared foodie, not wanting to turn down a unique offer to support the company’s team in Taiwan for 2.5 months. We spent 8 hours together to explore communication style differences between American and Taiwanese culture, different beliefs and traditions based on the two countries’ history and social norms, sights to see, food, workplace etiquette, and the emotional stress of culture adaptation.

She just got back and sent me a long email.

Yes, she became homesick after 4 weeks as expected but the practical tools and awareness of what restores her energies and effective self-care practices enabled her to work through it and still enjoy her unfamiliar environment. She discovered new favorite foods, boosted her self-esteem with solo excursions, made new friends and thanked me for preparing her so thoroughly for the trip that showed her how beautiful and diverse the world is and that also awakened her desire to explore more now that she is back in the U.S. She feels more confident, stronger and more capable through this experience.

She was an exceptional, bright and motivated client, who was willing to stretch and step into the unknown.  I feel honored to have supported her and she is ready to think bigger and explore more!

Two missions accomplished!

Employees as Consumers

Employee Experience 2

What is it like to work in YOUR organization?

How are you stacking up against other organizations competing for the same talent pool?

Last week, I attended an interesting event hosted by HR Alliance DCCreate an Engaging Employee Experience presented by Shaara Roman and Jennifer Ives. Captivated by a talk about organizational culture and HR strategies, I was taken by surprise by a compelling argument for organizations to shift their thinking and strategy around hiring and staff retention strategies towards seeing employees and job seekers as consumers.

Let me unpack that bold statement: The generational demograhic of the labor market is changing considerably with already more than a third of the current workforce being comprised of Millennials, defined as (34-22-year old) and Gen Zs (21 years and younger as of 2015). Those age groups in particular are looking for personal career development options, a good fit for their individual talents around purposeful work, and they want the organizational culture of their place of work to be compatible with their personal values.

 Labor Force Statistics

With further diminishing job security and dwindling employment benefits, the younger workforce generations generally feel little loyalty towards the companies they work for. More than half of the younger workforce is looking for opportunities to work for themselves. Furthermore, as highlighted in a previous post, 75% of all employees are disengaged and are one foot out the door at any given time, looking for more appealing job opportunties with the help of employee experience-transparent jobsites such as glassdoor.com.

From the organization’s perspective, successful hiring strategies, employee engagement and retention are essential factors for organizational success, especially in the professional services industry. Specialized jobs are very expensive to staff and a high employee turnover can cause serious project delays and blow deep holes in the budget.

The idea of viewing employees and potential hires like consumers with distinct behaviors, preferences and expectations makes sense and may be a sensible business practice for many organizations. Creating a positive employee experience is therefore becoming increasingly important for organizations looking for a competitive edge in today’s business climate. This does NOT mean high-end espresso machines, ping pong tables and nap rooms.

The most important employee experience differentiators are:

  • Inspiring Leadership + Empowering Culture
  • User-friendly Technology
  • Flexible, People-centric Workspaces

In response to changing employee expectations and upon seeing positive ROI upon investment in organizational culture improvement, traditional management models are being turned upside down and inside out. Performance management is shifting from formal annual review models to frequent informal feedback coupled with mentoring and coaching. Intrapreneurship, an entrepreneurial mindset within the organization, is encouraged and traditional top down management is taking a backseat to servant leadership approaches.

Companies will have to take an honest look at the attractiveness of their organizational culture if they are looking to hire and retain top talent in today’s competitive job market.

  • How does YOUR company measure up?
  • How are you relating to your staff?
  • What does your employee engagement strategy look like?

Butler Communication’s SOAR Leadership Lab gives you an opportunity to take a closer look at your leadership skills, to practice new communication patterns, to experiement with collaborative management styles and to strengthen your resilience and flexibility capacity.

Curious? Call me: 703-599-9079

Build Committed Relationships, Shape Engaging Culture,
Inspire Agile Action, Generate Extraordinary Results

With best wishes for bold and courageous culture shaping,


Friderike Butler

Chief Potential Catalyst 
​Leadership Development & Executive Coaching

Your Bait is for the Fish – Not for You

BaitThe most recent session of the Vienna Women Business Owner Mastermind Group focused on incorporating our individual business story in the heart piece of our business websites. We invited the talented business writer Jan Whiteley to speak to the group about crafting a compelling business story. Of course our group members are all well-versed in telling people what we do. The previous months we had explored our Simon Sinek WHYs, so we thought that this was just the logical extension the version of our individual WHYs and an easy check on our year-long business building agenda. We were in for a surprise!

Come to think of it, the expression of my personal passion may not necessarily be the answer to my client’s needs and desires. My vision of building “communication bridges between people” and releasing “positive energy in a world full of possibilities and choice to powerfully benefit humankind” may get me out of bed and ready to excitedly dive into my work every morning but it may not be a motivator for my individual clients and not at all their reason for looking for a coach or leadership trainer.

Rather, my clients experience roadblocks in their professional lives that they are unable to remove or circumnavigate on their own. They may be stuck in a dysfunctional team and are looking for ways to cope, or they may just have been promoted from a technical management job to a leadership position and they fill ill-equipped to create alignment between divisions and don’t know how to move from managing projects to leading people.

The perspective from which we tell stories to connect with others is immensely important in almost all aspects of our lives where we want to create buy-in and alignment. What about this project or request will resonate most with the person that I want to enroll? What excites them and what is their desire that my project may satisfy?

Here is an exercise that you do to see how well your offering and a respective story aligns with what your audience is hungry for:

  1. Write “What if …” questions that reflect your audience’s most pressing desires on individual sticky notes. Example: “What if … my team members would be able to meet all the ambitious deadlines that the executive suite has laid out for us?” or “What if … I was able to unlock all the hidden talents and strengths in my team and we would collaborate effectively and create the next breakthrough for our organization?” or “What if … I could create a work environment for my organization where everyone feels invited to bring forth new ideas?”
  2. For each sticky note, think of your offering that can turn the What If question into an I Can statement. Write your response on another sticky note and match it with the What If sticky note.
  3. See which match stands out the most for you and and whether the associated service/product offering represents the core of what you have to offer.
  4. If you identify a clear match and if it does fall into the sweet spot of offer, create a compelling story around it.

Some women in my group found that they had far too many different “What if … ” questions and some struggled to even create “What if … ” questions that could easily be matched with their core business offering. Needless to say, the exercise gave food for thought around our core business stories and how we communicate what we have to offer so it attracts the ideal client.

Figuring out what your ideal clients are looking for and what their ideal world is missing that you can provide will always be work in progress. The business landscape keeps changing and so do the needs and wants of your clients. Staying in touch with what moves your ideal clients and crafting a business offering that will resonate with your ideal services seekers will go a long way to ensure your business story and your offerings stay current and relevant.

What does your most compelling What If … and I Can … pair look like?

Warm Bodies in Seats – No Sign of Life – Now What?

2015 Gallup Poll

Do you know what it feels like to tread water in churning seas, to work in an environment where people are disengaged and have stopped caring for the work they are hired to do and for other people? When countless meetings bring little relief, behind-closed-doors-talks create a suspicious, unhealthily competitive environment, and the best talent is one foot out the door while others hide behind busy work and computer screens? I certainly do!

I have also seen how heart-wrenching it is for managers, who have a great team and who are trying their best to operate in an environment where ambiguous communication and constantly moving goal posts makes it nearly impossible to succeed. Their staff feels like they can never score a win and the atmosphere just kills all creative thoughts and fresh ideas.

It does not come as a surprise then that the 2015 Gallup Poll on Employee Engagement in America reports that 31.5% of the corporate workforce is engaged, 51% is not engaged and 17.5% is actively disengaged. That means almost 70% of the workforce in corporate America is just going through the motion, unmotivated to put in their best efforts or has resorted to reactive and negative behavior. That is a tragic waste of talent, energy, and resources.

If you are seeing indicators of this downward spiral in your organization, if you are regularly feeling dread as you prepare to go to work in the morning – be encouraged, there is a better way. We have studied what sets great companies apart and we know what conditions energize management and staff to courageously and actively pursue big visions that excite and inspire their customers.

At Butler Communication, we know how to generate unrestrained creativity and innovation with a fully awakened and engaged work force and we can show you how to create that for yourself and replicate it at all levels in your organization. READ MORE

Let us help you move from reactively addressing problems to creatively solving complex challenges.

Creative Leadership Conversations can turn the Ordinary into Extraordinary!

  • Build Committed Relationships
  • Shape Engaging Culture
  • Inspire Agile Action
  • Generate Extraordinary Results

Call me to schedule a Complimentary Consultation
or a Discovery Coaching Session!

Be Well and Think, Be, Do the Next Bold Thing!

Friderike Butler
Chief Potential Catalyst
​Professional Development & Executive Coaching


Is there Room at Your Table?

German Beer Garden

If you are traveling from the United States to Germany for the first time this summer, I suggest you get comfortable with the idea that in most German restaurants and especially in Biergartens and other outdoor eateries, you will dining with strangers if there are open seats at your table.

Unless you have reserved a table in a restaurant in advance, tables are not considered private. If seating space is limited, wait staff and patrons will try to utilize every available chair. So if you are seated at a table for 6 and you are only occupying two chairs, don’t be surprised if someone asks you politely if the chairs are taken or if they are available fully expecting to hear an equally polite “Please have a seat!” if you indeed have no need for these empty chairs. In most cases the joining party will carry on their own conversations and while one is expected to share the table, one is not expected to share the conversation – in fact that would be considered slightly strange if not rude if you were to butt in on the other party’s conversation.

What do you suppose German and American Public Dining Customs might tell you about the respective Cultural Values?

Successful Negotiation in Diverse Teams

Diverse Team

Successful negotiation in the face of disagreement requires well-developed communication skills and you enter a whole new and bigger arena when you operate from a place of different cultural meaning making.

Erin Meyer’s HBR article “Getting Si, Ja, Oui, Hai, and Da” highlights the intricacies of cross-cultural negotiation. Interestingly enough, the article assumes that everyone is aware of their own communication style. What I am finding in my research and my work with executives business leaders is that many are not aware of their own communication and negotiation style. They do what they learned and what worked for them in specific settings and they are surprised when what worked in one arena is not met with success in another. You don’t even have to cross international borders and add a layer of linguistic challenges. Just attend a virtual team meeting with persons from New Jersey, Idaho, California, and Southern Virginia and you may witness a “Great Disintegration” happening, when team members champion different approaches and are trying to work towards a solution to an issue in which they are all stakeholders.

My work as a leadership coach starts with self-awareness and works from the inside out:

  • Who am I as a leader?
  • What are my values and beliefs?
  • How do they fit with the values and beliefs of the people I interact with?
  • What results do I want to achieve and how may I have to adjust my communication style to bring others into the conversation and have them be heard?
  • How do I need to listen so I can truly hear what the other is saying?
  • How do I communicate that I understand their concern and how do I then invite them to work towards an integrated solution?
  • Am I unbiased enough to lead this discussion or should a more neutral person facilitate the conversation?
  • Am I really asking for input and feedback or has the solution already been identified and am just trying to create buy-in but the issue is not open for co-creating a different approach in dealing with the issue? (Your team will quickly see through a “fake negotiation” and this approach usually backfires with behind-your-back talk, distrust and disengagement.)

When dealing with diverse teams, creating shared meaning is crucial and the explicit confirmation of a shared understanding of conditions of satisfaction is an important component of successful negotiations with diverse teams.

Curious to learn more? Let’s talk!



T.H.I.N.K Before You Speak

Red-Think 2

With the intent to keep my content relevant and fresh, I am always on the lookout for leadership inspiration in a variety of different places. This month’s musings were inspired by the acronym T.H.I.N.K. introduced to me by Pastor Beth Neubauer from Emmanuel Lutheran Church in Vienna. To pause and think before speaking is always a good move and as my seminar participants know, I am a very avid proponent for pause practices and slowing down at times when the pulse quickens. Thus, pausing and applying the acronym consistently may produce even more effective communication results. Give it a try and let me know how it works for you!

Before you speak, T.H.I.N.K.:


1. T – Is it True?

Of the 5 things to ponder, this may be the trickiest. Facts and truth seem to be distorted with smoke and mirrors in too many public debates in the recent past. Allow me to try to simplify the concept of “true”. 

The first step would be to consider whether what I am about to say is accurate and based on facts or whether is it my personal interpretation of how facts present themselves to me. This clearly touches on the SOAR notion of Assertion = something can be evidenced to be true or false vs. Assessment = my personal interpretation and judgment of a certain set of circumstances. In other words: is what I am about to say based on facts or my personal opinion? A clear distinction between both may foster alignment in a conversation: This is what actually happened and this is what I think/ how I feel about it…

2. H – Is is Helpful?

Do I speak in the spirit of improving the situation or am I saying something to prove that I am right? I have made a mental Post-It note for myself and plastered it all over my brain synopses because the honest answer to that question is often very revealing to me and I know especially in my conversation with my teenage sons, I ought to take more breaths or more often than not hold my thoughts and keep them from spilling out of my mouth. 

Do I say what I am about to say to create a better future or am I trying to right the past and come out as the winner of the argument? Will my words help the situation or another person move forward?


3. I – Is it Inspired or Inspiring?

Is the message creative in that it will it lead to new aspirations or improve the situation? Is it likely to motivate others to put forth their best effort? What would make a response (more) inspired or inspiring?


4. N- Is it Necessary?

If the answer is “No” to all the lead questions above, maybe that particular thought is not worth sharing. Consider the intent behind it and what the spoken message is likely to create. Is it necessary to speak the thought out loud and will it create something positive or an opportunity for all parties involved? Does the conversation have the potential to make a difference in the world? It is my opinion that empty complaints with no intention to follow-up with action for example fall directly under the “un-necessary” category.


5. K- Kind

Is the message conveyed in an empathetic manner that meets others where they are? Does it come with the notion of love and support or does it come with the intention to hurt and cut down? Does it consider the other person’s situation and perspective?


My wish is that the T.H.I.N.K. concept would be applied throughout our public discourse, especially on social media. And if the answer is not a resounding “Yes” to at least three of the 5 lead questions, how about taking a break from speaking until there is a thought that IS true, helpful, inspiring, necessary and kind? What do you think?  


Be Well and Think, Be, Do Amazing Things!

Friderike 3

Next Generation of Leaders at GMU

GMU talk

It was fun presenting at the GMU Business Fraternity yesterday. We talked about Successful Transitioning from College Life to the Professional World and the challenges that the students are facing when entering the job market and first leadership positions.

The three strategies suggested are:

1. Don’t be disruptive – be an effective disrupter and be prepared to present a solution to problems that you spot.

2. Bust their Bias – break through the stereotype that may be assigned to your age group and be responsible for your action

3. Be Self-Aware – pay attention what your words, action and projected mood are creating in your professional environment and whether or not they are creating the results you want.

SOAR fundamentals customized for this audience of interested and engaged next generation of leaders. It was a great event and the hosts were gracious and made me feel welcome and appreciated. If I had any bias about working with Millennials, they would have busted it! Great group of young people, motivated, bright and hopeful.


Reframe That Thought

The news seems inundated with messages of doom and gloom, negative rhetoric and finger pointing. CNN recently claimed that a large number of Americans were suffering from post-election stress trauma on both sides of the political spectrum.


If you feel the weight of world coming down on you, bring some light back into your life by simply reframing negative thoughts into positive-intent perspectives.

1. Take Inventory of What You Think

Pay attention to when you start feeling resentment creeping into your thoughts and a negative attitude starts to fester in response to a situation or another person. Pause for a moment and consider another way of looking at the situation that would assume positive intent.

Imagine this scene: The cashier at your local grocery store is slow in ringing you up and bagging your goods and you are short on time. You feel your anxiety level rise and your internal commentary is firing on all cylinders. Take quick inventory of the intent of your thoughts. Are you quick to label the person ringing up your groceries? What is the story you are telling yourself about the person? If your story is dark and blaming, how does that impact your mood?


2. Find Positive Intent

Now take two long breaths. What if the cashier is doing the absolute best she can this very moment – just for you? What shift is you focus on being grateful that you can buy the things the cashier is ringing up. Maybe the cashier is taking her time because she wants to make sure she is not making any mistakes. This expansion of time at this place allows to notice the color of her hair, notice the shape of her eyes. What might you not know about this person that makes her special and unique?  Do you notice a shift in your attitude?

3. Take Positive Action

Now that you have found a positive story for the situation you found yourself in, take action to reflect the positive shift. You can start by simply smiling at your conscientious cashier. How about a positive verbal expression? How about wishing her a great day and saying her name?

The next time you find yourself in a situation, you cannot change – discover something – anything – positive in it and see where that leads you. I hope it will be a bright and positive place!